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Abstinence Method and Outercourse

 Quick Facts

  • The decision and responsibility to have sex are purely personal every time.
  • It may encourage different kinds of sexual exploration and expression other than intercourse.
  • Many religious and cultural groups even endorse it.

Efectiveness

With consistent use, Abstinence is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. There is a slight chance of getting pregnant with an outercourse from rubbing the penis near the vaginal opening with no clothes in between, a partner cumming on the vulva, or if the penis slips or semen leaks to the vagina during anal sex.

Abstinence 100%

Key Benefits 

  • Free
  • Increase in mutual trust between partners.
  • Foreplay can add more fun for couples and spice up your sex.

What are Abstinence and Outercourse?

Sexual Abstinence and outercourse have different meanings for different people. Total sexual Abstinence means not engaging in any sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Some people may define Abstinence as engaging in other sexual activities but not doing vaginal intercourse. However, such kind of sexual activity is better known as outercourse.

Examples include:

  • Oral sex
  • Anal sex
  • Dry humping with clothes on
  • Mutual Masturbation
  • Mutual Massage
  • Kissing

Abstinence works as an effective form of contraception by eliminating all chances of sperm fertilizing an egg. Outercourse similarly prevents pregnancy by keeping sperm away from an egg. You may choose Abstinence at some point in your life. You can still select Abstinence even if you have had sex in the past.  Some couples use Abstinence during their fertile period.

Abstinence and outcourse contraception
Outcourse means sexual activities other than vaginal sex.

How to Practice Abstinence and Outercourse?

 
  • Be honest with your partner and discuss why you should practice Abstinence.
  • Communicate with your partner that you do not want to have sexual intercourse. A mutual understanding is required between couples to have Abstinence. Your partner may disagree with this for a more extended period. Hence, it is better to have a conversation before.
  • Respect each other’s decision, which will make it easy for you to Practice it.
  • Think outside the box– about other sexual activities like outercourse depending on the kind of Abstinence.
  • Learn to communicate with your partner about any issue in your relationship and discuss how to enjoy your Abstinence.

Pros

  • There are no medical side effects.
  • You can practice it even if you are taking certain medications.
  • It is free and can be practiced at any stage of life.
  • It can help you to shape your relationships in non-sexual ways.
  • Psychological benefits include feelings of control of one’s life and a build-up of positive self-esteem.

Cons

  • It is easier said but may be very difficult to have Abstinence for long periods.
  • You or your partner may give in to the “heat of the moment” and have sex without contraception.
  • Sometimes, having an outercourse alone may lead to frustration.
  • Anal and oral sex may lead to Sexually transmitted infections.

Essential Tips

  • Avoid high-pressure sexual situations and drugs or alcohol that can affect your good judgment. Pressure from your peers can make this decision very difficult. Be prepared to get better at it.
  • Stand by your decision and never feel bad about saying no to the intercourse.
  • Plan about a backup contraceptive if you fail and get caught up in the “heat of the moment.”
  • Even if you go for Abstinence, it is good to learn about other contraceptives.

Recommended to use if

  • You and your partner can decide for yourself and arrive at what Abstinence means to both of you.
  • If you are a teen and can withstand the pressure of your peers who may be sexually active or just say they are.
  • You can talk to your partner about what you want to do.
  • You are worried about getting an STD or getting pregnant after sex.
  • Having sex to prevent a relationship from breaking up.

Not Recommended if

  • Using it is a one-sided decision without talking with your partner.
  • It results in psychological stress.

In Short

Sexual Abstinence is a very effective mode of birth control, but it requires a mutual understanding between both partners. Be careful that it is possible to be pregnant and get STIs during the outercourse.

  1. Center for Disease Control
    Adolescent and School Health
  2. University Health Service
    contraception-abstinence
  3. American Pregnancy Association
    Unplanned pregnancy

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